The Best Night Ever With a Baseball Bat
by CheddarandPretzelCombos
Summary: Rainbow Dash and her boyfriend Soarin and their experience at the Gala! Soarin Dash is THE BEST shipping in the fandom.
1. Chapter 1

**This story was originally going go named: "Who Knew The Best Night Ever Involved a Baseball Bat?"**

**But it was too long *Sad face*  
**

**Soarin Dash Fanfic**

**By: Diana Dude**

**July 2012**

**Did you that Soarin is named after Amy Rogers', Soren?**

**Rainbow Dash Stood in front of her mirror in her bathroom. She put her front hooves on the counter and leaned in, Squinting at her face. It was the eve of the Gala, and she'd been invited back be Princess Celestia. Which was funny, really, considering she'd pretty much trashed the entire ballroom last time. She didn't know exactly why she was going back, the last year's Gala pretty much stunk, but here she was, going for the second tome. She didn't even want to go very badly, but Celestia had invited her and it seemed rude not to show, maybe it was the whole loyalty thing. But the biggest reason she was going- Dash knew- was because Soarin was going to be there.**

** Soarin. The most wonderful pegasus pony in all of Equestria. They'd been through a lot together and Rainbow liked him-a lot. She loved it how his face would light up when he saw her and the bubbly feeling she got when he was around. He made her feel so special...**

** She was sucked back from her pool of thoughts when she banged her face on the mirror. **

_** Ow. **_

** Dashie scoffed and rolled her eyes. _Listen to yourself, Dashie. Gettin' all mushy and sappy. Ugh, Puh-lease. _**

**She went back to studying her face in the mirror. **

** She'd never been the prettiest pony. She'd never been called ugly or anything, it just took ponies a while to notice she was even cute. Not like Rarity, you walk in the same room with Rarity and BAM you're knocked out from sheer beauty. **

** But tonight, Dash looked...pretty. She'd hate to admit it to herself, and hate it even more to admit it to Rarity, but she liked the way she looked right now. **

** She thought back to earlier that day at the carousel boutique with Rarity and the rest of her friends when they were getting ready for the Gala. When Rarity insisted on putting makeup on Dashie, she asked Rarity to be subtle about it. Apparently, shimmering pink lip gloss, rainbow-colored eye shadow, and an entire new hair-do is about as subtle as Rarity gets. **

** Nevertheless, Dashie had to say that the results were satisfying. The makeup only put her on the verge of making her look ridiculous. Good thing she hadn't let Rarity put on false eyelashes. That would have made it too much, putting Dashie across the invisible "ridiculous line." **

** "But they'd go so perfectly with your rose colored eyes!" Rarity protested. **

** Rainbow Dash had almost lost it then. "They are NOT rose colored! They are intense magenta, thank you very much!" She had said back at the boutique. Rainbow Dash never wanted anything to do with pink-the color of girlyness. **

** She sighed. Yes, she looked pretty good for tonight. Her favorite part of it all was her mane. It was curly. Curly! Dozens of curls bounced when she walked and were in all different sizes. Some curls were so tight you could fit a pencil in them while others only twisted around three or four times. It reminded her of celebration; fun and joy. Rarity even took the liberty of dying tiny streaks of Rainbow's mane a bright shimmering gold. It was so pretty, seeing random flashes of gold peeking out from the springy curls. It was just too fun! She made a mental mote to ask if she could get the gold dyed in her name permanently. **

** She was experimenting with different ways to part her mane when she heard a voice in the doorway. **

** "Take any longer getting ready and you'll miss the Gala altogether."**

** "Very funny." She shot back, "I'll just be a while longer." She said. Suddenly her eyes bulged. Wait a sec. **

** "Soarin?" She turned to see a handsome pegasus with a dark navy blue mane and bright, eager, emerald green eyes leaning against the door frame.**

** "Soarin!" She said, with more confidence this time. "I thought you couldn't make it to Ponyville and had to stay in Canterlot!" She trotted over to give the Wonderbolt a hug. **

** "You smell good. Like cinnamon." Soarin said.**

** Rainbow pulled away from the hug. "Well, hello to you, too!"**

** Soarin laughed. "Hi. But why do you smell like cinnamon? You usually smell like clouds."**

** Now it was Dashie's turn to laugh. "I got pranked. Pinkie filled all of Rarity's perfume bottles with a high concentration of cinnamon and water. So when I got assaulted with perfume, I was bombarded with cinnamon."**

** "Only you, Dashie, would get yourself into something like that." Soarin chuckled. He leaned in for another hug. **

** "You know it. Ha, you should have seen us, coughing and sneezing all over the place. But hey, you still haven't answered my question yet, what are you doing in Ponyville?"**

** "I couldn't wait...I couldn't wait to see you."**

** Rainbow blushed as red as a tomato. What a sweet thing to say. **

** "And I just knew wittle Dashiekinzz couldn't wait to see me either!" Soarin said, clomping his hoof on the top of Rainbow's head. **

** "As flattering as it is," she said, giving Soarin a look, "I'm gonna have to tell you that if you call my Dashiekinzz one more time you're in for it."**

** Soarin disappeared from the door frame put poked his head in a second later to yell "Dashiekinzz!" and run off again. **

** "That's it!" Rainbow grinned galloped after him. Easier said than done, it's hard running around in a full dress. **

** Soarin high-tailed it down the hallway, laughing all the way. He looked over his shoulder to see Rainbow gaining on him, he tried to make a break for it by making a sharp turn into Dash's bedroom. His front half successfully turned the corner but his back end kept sliding down the slick hallway, swinging around so his side ran into the door frame. **

** Dash cracked up. She could imagine a sign stuck on his flank that read:**

**WARNING: PONY MAKES WIDE TURNS**

** Finally Rainbow caught up with Soarin and ran into him with all of her weight, knocking him over onto the floor.**

** "Gotcha!' She said, trapping Soarin to the ground by putting her fore hooves on his wings. "You're in for it now." She wiped some of her lip gloss with a hoof, keeping the other hoof firmly on his wing. She smeared pink shimmering lip gloss down the right side of Soarin's face. "There." she said, pleased with her assault. **

** Suddenly, Soarin craned his neck and kissed Rainbow on the lips. Dashie felt the exhilaration of bubbilyness in her stomach and she wondered if Soarin was feeling the same thing. His lips were gone as soon as they came. Dashie felt herself blush. **

** Soarin's eyes shifted from looking into hers to right above them. He chuckled. "You're hair's messed up."**

** "What? Oh no!" Dash stood up quicker than she knew she could and ran across the room to the boudoir to see her reflection. She was surprised to see that her hair was a perfect as when she last checked on it. **

** Soarin, who hadn't even bothered to get up off the rainbow colored rug, burst out laughing at Rainbow's expression. **

** "Soarin!" Dashie tried to sound angry, but she was grinning from ear to ear. "You tricked me into looking girly!" She pelted him with a tuft of cloud, which exploded in his face, only making him laugh harder. **

** "You seem awfully worried about your appearance for tonight." Soarin finally said after he stopped laughing. **

** "UUGH! I know!" Rainbow said, letting her legs go limp, dramatically doing a face plant onto her bed. "It's just-I've never looked so pretty. I don't want to mess it up." Her voice was muffled through the comforter. **

** Rainbow's bed was a mess. The top sheet was wadded up into a ball at the foot of the bed and the comforter was wrinkled, half falling off the side. The pillows were strewn everywhere some on the floor. **

** When asked why it looked as if her bed encountered a tornado, she would reply "A messed up bed is always more comfy to sleep in than a made one."**

** Soarin sat on the side of the bed, putting a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. "You've always been pretty."**

** Rainbow rolled to her side and stared into Soarin's brilliant emerald eyes. "What a sweet thing to say." She said, half smiling.**

** Soarin smiled back at her, staring into her ros-ahem- intense magenta eyes. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Hey, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you." He got up off the bed and helped Dashie to her hooves. **

** She followed him, where, awaiting him, was a pegasus-drawn Greek chariot. **

** "I got us a private ride to the Gala." Soarin said.**

** "Oh, Soarin, you are so cheesy!" Rainbow Dash said, grinning. **

** "Good thing the whole world pretty much makes it's living off of cheesy."**

** "This is going to be so fun!" She said, dancing on her hooves in place. **

** "Let's go, then." And together the two walked down her front sidewalk to the chariot. **

** As the chariot glided soundlessly across the sky, Soarin put a wing around Dashie put her head on his shoulder, then he rested his head on top of hers. This was perfect. The most perfect moment Soarin had ever had with Dash. Okay, the most perfect moment he'd ever had period. For a while they didn't say anything, just listening to each others breathing until Rainbow broke the silence. **

** "This feels weird, doesn't it?"**

** Shocked, Soarin said, "Do you want me to stop hugging you?" **

** The spectrum pony just laughed. "Not the hugging-it's perfect." To emphasize her point, she nuzzled Soarin's neck and snuggled in closer. "I meant the chariot. I feel like I'm flying-it's such a free feeling-but I'm not even flying on my own. Isn't that a weird feeling?"**

** "Yeah.. I like it."**

** "We should go on chariot rides more often."**

** Soarin laughed quietly and hugged Rainbow tighter with his wing through the silence, enjoying every second of it. **

** "Dashie?" **

** "Hmm?"**

**(A/N) SAPPY ALERT! M.O.S.? *mom over shoulder?* No? Okay, continue on!**

** "Have you ever felt love before?" Soarin blurted.**

** Rainbow Dash looked up a him. "Before? Before what? Before five seconds ago? Before meeting you?"**

** "Ever." He said softly.**

** Rainbow momentarily lifted her head off of Soarin's shoulder to kiss him on the cheek. "Yes. I have." She said..**

** The pegasus couple arrived at the Grand Galloping Gala just as everypony else was. The chariot gently descended onto the castle grounds. They landed on the soft grass just as the train from Ponyville entered the station. **

** "Holy chaise!" Dashie yelled, smacking her forehead with a hoof. "The girls! I was supposed to ride with them on the train! They're gonna kill me!"**

** "Tell them it was my fault." Soarin said.**

** "Why? Because it SO wasn't your fault." Dashie said sarcastically. **

** "No, because I'm nice enough to want to save your flank." He said, poking her in the nose. They walked over to the train station to meet Dash's friends.**

** Twilight immediately spotted her, followed by Applejack and Fluttershy. "Rainbow!" She called, with Spike on her back. "We were so worried when you weren't at the train depot, and when the train departed, we had to leave without you!" Rainbow was about to explain when a certain pink mare came barreling out the door, tackling Rainbow in a bear-hug. **

** "Dashie!" Pinkie Pie squealed. "I should be mad at you for leaving me all alone on the train but I'm just so glad you made it!" She started bouncing up and down. "Hi, Soarin!" She added. **

** Pinkie's Gala dress was made out of streamers, shiny and glittery, making Rainbow Dash think of a bike's handlebars. **

** "Sorry, guys. It was bird-brain's fault I missed the train." Rainbow said, jerking her head at Soarin.**

** "Hey, we're just glad you made it." AJ said. **

** Rarity was the last to exit the train. With one look at Rainbow,she gasped like she'd seen a ghost. Then her unicorn powers pulled out a tube of lip gloss from nowhere and started repairing Dash's lips.**

** "Darling, whatever did you do to your lip gloss?" **

** Knowing Rarity was asking a rhetorical question, Rainbow Dash didn't answer. Plus, her lips were busy at the moment. **

** "If, y'all excuse me, ah gotta get my apple cart squeezed in before all those hor dourves take over the while Gala again!" AJ said, pushing a green and red crate on wheels. **

** "I'm following you." Soarin said, his mouth watering for pie.**

** "Um, if you guys don't mind, I'm going off to the gardens. I brought Angel Bunny with me this time to show all the creatures that they shouldn't be afraid." Fluttershy trotted off with Angel riding on her head. **

** The remaining ponies went their separate ways, Rainbow went off to find Soarin.**

** The mane six promised- Pinkie Pie Promised to be exact- that if they weren't having the best night ever by the Gala had been in session for one hour, then they would all meet up in the ballroom so they could have the best night ever together. **

** But everypony changed something from last year to make it the best night. Twilight had it arranged for Princess Celestia and Luna to switch off greeting guests every half an hour so Twilight could spend some time with her teacher. **

** Fluttershy brought Angel along with her so show the animals there was nothing to be afraid of. **

** Rarity changed to one tactic and one tactic only. Flirt with everypony,colt-wise. **

** Pinkie Pie changed the decorations and set up pranks all over the ballroom to make it a more fun party-don't smell the flowers.**

** Rainbow finally caught up with the applecart. To increase business, AJ changed the applecart's location and started advertising. Flags waved from the top saying "100% Wonderbolt Approved!" **

** And Rainbow Dash, well, she was dating a Wonderbolt now. And she didn't feel the need to prove anything to Soarin. **

** Soarin and Applejack were pushing the cart to the ideal place; right outside the ballroom. Dash smiled. Soarin and the others acted like he'd been around his whole life, he was so comfortable around them and Dash was happy for that. She'd never have to worry about awkward moments between Soarin and her best friends. **

** Once the applecart was set up, Soarin couldn't get his bits in the box fast enough. He snatched an apple pie from a shelf in record time and started chowing down. Applejack couldn't stop laughing. **

** Rainbow stood beside AJ, who wiped a tear from her eye. "He's a real hoot."**

** "Yeah, He's really something else." Rainbow agreed. Soarin finished his pie and came over to the two girls. "I'm sure you'll get a bunch of sales with these new advertisements, AJ. I'll even be your spokespony." To show he wasn't kidding, he shouted out "Come try the Apple family's apple treats! 100% Wonderbolt approved!" **

** A bunch of ponies turned their heads and a few even came over. **

** "Excuse me, y'all but ah got me some customers to attend to. Thanks to Soarin, here." AJ playfully hit Soarin in the shoulder. **

** "Anything for one of my best friends!' Soarin called out as Applejack started handing out treats. **

** As Soarin and Rainbow walked away from the applecart, Soarin asked, "Are you ready for the best night ever?" He put his wing around the cyan pony as they walked holding her close.**

** "You know it, bird brain." She said but then suddenly burst out laughing. "Soarin, you still have lip gloss on your face!" She giggled. Then Soarin tried to look at it, as if you could see your own cheek. Dashie doubled over, laughing harder than ever. **

** Soarin started laughing too and when Rainbow snorted, it only set them off again. **

** Soon they were on the ground, their eyes welled up with tears, clutching their stomaches and breathing heavily. **

** Ponies were staring, but Dash didn't care. She was having the best night ever with the best pony ever. They both sighed. They stayed on the ground; nothing better to do. **

** Rainbow sat there, with her back propped up by Soarin's leg, and Soarin propping himself up on an elbow. *Do ponies have elbows?* **

** Then Soarin leaned in for a kiss. And no matter how high Rainbow was on oxygen, she still got that bubbly adrenaline in her gut. They pulled apart, grinning and blushing. **

** Rainbow stood up and bead-butted Soarin until he was on his hooves(her way of helping him up.) She grabbed a napkin and licked it before scrubbing his cheek. **

** While pretending to be concentrating on his cheek, Dash was really focusing on her peripheral vision. His intense emerald eyes. God, those eyes. She could loose herself looking into them. They seemed to go on forever, so empty, yet so full of joy, laughter, so full of everything Soarin. She suddenly realized she's stopped scrubbing his cheek and was staring into his eyes. And he was staring into hers. Hastily, she broke herself from the staring contest and blushed. Soarin put his wing around her again and they walked on.**

** "You know, I'll be able to spend a lot more time with you this time than at last year's Gala." Soarin said.**

** "Do elaborate." Rainbow Dash said, snuggling her face into Soarin's neck. **

** "Well, for one, I'm not wearing my Wonderbolt's costume. And I'm not hanging around the rest of the 'Bolts. It's unlikely I'll be recognized."**

** "Good. This is the best night ever."**

** Just then a voice was calling out Soarin's name. "Soarin! Did you think nopony would recognize you without your Wonderbolts costume on?" **

** As Rainbow stifled a laugh, Soarin's only thought was...Styx. **

** It was Notewothy. An earth pony friend of Soarin's.**

** "Hi, Noteworthy. How's life?"**

** Rainbow thought she'd seen Noteworthy in Ponyville a few times, but didn't know his name until now. **

** "Not too shabby, Soarin. What about you? How's life treating you?"**

** "I'm doing great!" He gestured his hoof at the spectrum pony. "This is my girlfriend, Rainbow Dash."**

** And that's when Rainbow's blood froze.**

** Girlfriend. **

** She'd NEVER been called that before. Sure, it was obvious that she and Soarin were a couple, but they never called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. At best they called each other bird-brain and slug head.**

** Even introductions didn't involve the b-word and the g-word. It was always "Meet my stalker" or "This is my half pony half dodo mutant friend." Until now. Some deep revelation brought Dashie to realize that, yes, Soarin was her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend. It was never official before-it is now. It brought Dash a happy feeling, a feeling of relief.  
"Well, it's been great catching up with you, Soarin, but that applecart over there is calling my name."**

** "Catch you later, bro." Soarin started walking away from Noteworthy. **

** Rainbow, who had draped her fore-hooves over Soarin's back, lost her balance when Soarin slipped away and landed on her face, sprawled out on the ground. Soarin turned and burst out laughing.**

** "You are the clumsiest flier I have ever met, _Crashie._"**

** "Takes one to know one." Dash quipped, holding out a hoof. Soarin took it to help her up, but Rainbow pulled him down with her. **

** They laughed for a while. "Weren't we on the ground, like 10 minutes ago?"**

** "Yeah, stupid gravity. Stupid us." **

** There weren't many other ponies outside so Soarin and Rainbow laid on the cool grass alone, staring at the stars and the full moon. **

** They snuggled close, feeling each others heartbeats. Another perfect moment on the best night ever. But Soarin had to break the silence. **

** "Hey, dodo."**

** Dashie didn't answer right away, but then she asked in an innocent voice "Oh, are you talking to me?" **

** Soarin laughed but then got serious. "I felt you tense up back there when I called you my girlfriend. Is it okay if I call you that?"**

** "Yeah, I'm sorry. It just shocked me to hear it out loud. I mean, I always knew it in the back of my mind but, I don't know if I was expecting a ritual or something, but it was never official until tonight." Rainbow Dash snuggled into the fur on Soarin's neck. They laid there for a while, Soarin cradling Rainbow's head with his foreleg, staring into the night sky. **

** This time it was Dash who broke the silence. "My pegasus ADHD is kicking in." She said, getting up and stretching her legs. "What do you want to do now?" **

** Pegasus ADHD, as Rainbow called it, was not real ADHD, but an energy that ran through most pegasi. **

** "I don't know, let's walk around." Soarin said, getting to his hooves too.**

** As the couple waked around the castle grounds, Soarin played with Dashie's bouncy curls. Rainbow shot him the occasional exasperated look, but he ignored it. Those curls were just too fun! But Soarin had to admit, he was bored. Not that it wasn't great being with Rainbow Dash, but he wanted something to do. Then- light bulb! Soarin started what they usually started when they were bored. **

** Rainbow was about to suggest they fly around and do tricks, but suddenly her dress caught on something- Soarin's hoof- and she found her face contacting the ground in an instant. Soarin laughed as Dash rolled onto her side, looking up at the Wonderbolt. **

** "Did you just start what I think you started?"**

** "A prank war?"**

** "Oh, it's on." Rainbow jumped up, mumbled something about having to use the bathroom, and zipped off. Soarin laughed. He couldn't wait to see what Rainbow had planned.**

** Dash ran to the ballroom-where she knew she'd fin Pinkie. When she entered, she saw quite a sight. **

** Half of the ballroom was laughing so hard tears came out of their eyes while the other half was getting pranks pulled on them. It looked like the best party ever! And Pinkie could be found right in the middle of it all, rolling on the ground and clutching her stomach. She was laughing so hard she was hiccuping. When Pinkie saw her rainbow friend she stood up with much effort.**

** She leaned heavily on Rainbow's shoulder, laughing like a crazy pony. "He..." She sputtered in between fits of giggles. "His face... went all..." She crossed her eyes and her tongue wagged out of her mouth, imitating who, Rainbow Dash didn't know.**

** Pinkie finally found herself and let out a long sigh. "So, Rainbow Dash, how's your best night ever so far?" She asked, her eyes bright. **

** "Oh it's been undeniably the best!" Rainbow was about to go in full throttle about her evening but then remembered why she was here. "But I need to ask you a favor."**

** "Do you totally promise it'll be totally fun?" Pinkie asked, intrigued. **

** Dash stuck her hoof in her eye. "Promise. You see, Soarin just declared a prank war and I need to get him good."**

** "You and Soarin are in a prank war?" The pink pony's face lit up. "Yay! Your prank wars are always the funniest! Okay, okay, you could give him... No I got a better idea! NO WAIT! I'm about to be brilliant! This is perfect!" She darted away but came back a second later holding two glasses of punch and a rubber ball attached to a string. **

** "Okay, first you have to sneak up behind him and attach this to his tail." Pinkie stuck the ball on a string to her own tail as a demonstration. With Pinkie's every step, the ball bounced on the ground. And every time the ball bounced a ridiculous sound emitted from it. There were air-horn blasts and firework booms, fog horns, bike bells, armpit noises, that bum-dum-tsss noise that sounded when you made a lousy joke, and blowing raspberries. **

** "Pinkie, you're brilliant!" dash pranced from hoof to hoof, antsy to try out the new prank material. **

** "Once you have this attached," Pinkie said with her mouth full, unclipping the ball from her tail, "then give him a glass of punch," She pushed the glasses into Rainbow's hooves. "He'll be so intent on trying to figure out what's wrong with the punch he won't see anything else coming. Genius!" **

** "Is there something wrong with the punch?" The cyan mare asked, eying the red liquid suspiciously. **

** "Only that there's a rubber snake in the punch bowl." **

** "Pinkie, this is going to be one of our best pranks yet! Dashie said excitedly. **

** "I'll be watching from where he can't see me."**

** Rainbow Dash ran off with the glasses of punch and the prank ball. She found Soarin eating his second- or what she thought was his second- apple pie. AJ's apple stand was at least half a dozen ponies deep, having such a success. **

** Rainbow bent down behind Soarin. She held her breath, begging Celestia that she wouldn't get caught. Success. She exhaled and looked around to find her pink friend. She spotted her in the shiny streamer dress on one of the castle's many balconies. Rainbow did a hoofpump and Pinkie clopped. **

** Rainbow turned back to Soarin, who was still leaning over his pie. She leaned down to his ear and whispered in a spooky voice, "Boo." **

** Soarin jumped. "Holy Hestia! Dashie, there you are." **

** "I got some punch." She said, holding up the glasses. **

** Reluctantly, Soarin accepted his. "What did you do this?"**

** Rainbow Dash laughed, licking a piece of pie off of Soarin's face. "Nothing. I just passed the punch bowl and I thought I'd get us some." She took a swig of it herself. "Ha. Maybe we could have a belching contest with this stuff." She said, commenting on the fizzy bubbles. **

** Soarin was still suspicious. He tilted it over, testing to see if it was a dribble glass. He let a couple drops spill onto the ground, seeing it didn't explode on impact. Still he didn't take a sip.**

** "Fine, don't drink the punch. I guess I win. I, Rainbow Dash self-proclaim myself as the Gala's best belcher." She said with a false official tone, she held her glass to the sky. With that she burped, earning herself shocked glances from other ponies.**

** She pointed her hoof towards Soarin. "It was him!" At that they both laughed. **

** Rainbow started casually started walking towards the gardens. "Come on, Soarin. You know you're going to have to drink that punch if you want to overthrow my throne and strip me of my royal name." Rainbow looked over her shoulder to see Soarin hadn't moved. Typical. Just a while ago he suggested they go on a walk, but when Dash really needed him to move he was rooted to the spot. **

** He stared intently at the glass, looking for hints of pepper, no doubt. Rainbow groaned and walked back to Soarin. **

** "There's something wrong with this, I know it." Soarin said. Rainbow switched glasses with him. **

** "There. Now come on, I've got pegasus ADHD here." Finally, to Rainbow's relief, Soarin started to walk. The noises started up right away. Rainbow fought to keep a strait face. **

** "Wha-what is that?" She tried to make herself look less conspicuous by asking first. **

** "I... I don't know." Soarin said, confused.**

** "Where is that coming from?" She pretended to look around for the source. She took this an opportunity to sneak a look at Pinkie Pie, who was on her back in a belly laugh. **

** The urge to laugh took over. She burst out. "It just sounds so funny!" She cackled. **

** Soarin was very concerned. He wanted to know where it was coming from. He stopped walking, but so did the noise. He took a single step. _Cha-ching! _ Sure enough, the noise was coming from directly behind him. He turned his head as far as it would go, and saw something clipped to his tail. He pulled it out with his teeth. A rubber ball. He bounced it experimentally and a goat's bray came from it.**

** It all became clear.**

** "You dodo!" He pelted the rubber ball at Rainbow's head. She stopped laughing.**

** "Oops, busted." She smiled and Soarin laughed. **

** Then his eyes lit up, like they always did when he had an idea. "Hey, I've got an idea. I discovered this really cool place in the woods. Let me show you." He turned and trotted off towards the woods, leaving Rainbow no choice but to follow. **

** Trotting along beside Soarin, the rainbow pony asked, "So what exactly is this 'really cool place?'" **

** "You'll see." Was the Wonderbolt's answer, his mind on only one thing. Payback. His favorite kind of prank was scaring the living crap out of ponies; and that's just what he intended to do. As they trekked through the trail that led through the woods, Soarin pretended to get lost. **

** "I think we should have gotten there already." He said with false concern. While in reality he knew exactly where they were. "You know, I'm going to do a quick flyover to see where we are." He said, his hooves leaving the ground. **

** Rainbow took to the air, too, but Soarin put a hoof on her shoulder to stop her. "Not you, Missy. Didn't Rarity say not to fly in that dress?" Dash couldn't come with him. It was vital to his plan. **

** Rainbow Dash thought back to before the Gala. She was flitting around the boutique, taunting Spike with a sapphire while Pinkie was getting her dress "Fitted to perfection." **

** Rarity glanced over and gasped. "Rainbow, that dress is delicate!'**

** "What?" Dash held her hooves up in a shrug. She hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she hadn't done anything stupid in a good six minutes. **

** "Rainbow, please." Rarity pleaded. "Refrain from flying just for tonight. You could ruin that gown!"**

** "A whole night without flying? Do you know what you're asking of me?"**

** "Please?" Rarity's eyes got big. "Do it for me. Think about the dress!" Rainbow rolled her eyes and let her hooves drop to the ground. There was no arguing with that unicorn. **

** "Fine." She told Soarin. "But I'm sure Rarity just made it all up so I'd be tortured all night."**

** A huge weight lifted off Soarin's shoulders. "I'll be back in five minutes. You can time me." He shot off, Leaving Dash in the woods. Now all he had to do was find Fluttershy; another vital part of his plan. **

** Luckily she wasn't far away. He found her quickly, in a clearing in the woods, surrounded by many different animals. **

** He landed a few feet away, hoping not scare away all the critters.**

** "Oh, hello, Soarin. How's you're best night ever?" She asked in her usual soft voice. **

** "It's been, well, the best! But I have to ask you a favor." **

** "Uh-oh. You and Dashie started a prank war, didn't you?" Fluttershy broke into a smile, remembering past pranks. **

** "You guessed it. Do you have a snake handy?"**

** Why, sure." Fluttershy trotted over to a nearby bush and pulled out a six foot black mamba. "This black mamba sure is nice, and I'm sure he'll be happy to do you a favor." Fluttershy said, letting the snake wrap itself-loosely- abound her waist and neck. **

** "Athena's chariot, that's a lot of snake." Soarin was nervous, and he wasn't even afraid of snakes. But he knew a certain cyan pegasus who was; even though she wouldn't admit it. "Fantastic. Now all I need him to do is slither across out path in front of us."**

** "Would you be up for that, little black mamba?" After a pause, Fluttershy said, "He'd be happy to."**

** "Awesome. See you in a couple minutes." Soarin took off again, back to Rainbow Dash. He looked down to see the snake following him on the ground. This was going to be the funniest prank ever.**

** Rainbow was doing her best to entertain herself by seeing how many acorns she could get to hit the tree with her eyes closed. Five minutes. It felt like five hours.**

** Soarin finally landed next to her. "We aren't far." He assured her. He trotted off in the right direction, with Dashie at his side. **

** They walked in silence for a minute or so, the suspense in Soarin's gut rising. _Any second now..._**

**Rainbow was about to go in full throttle about how Rarity claimed her dress was delicate when a twisty twig caught her eye. **

** Then it moved. The thing freaking moved. Rainbow Dash screamed, Pinkie-Pie-in-a-chicken-costume style and involuntarily jumped ten feet in the air with no help from her wings and grabbed onto a tree branch like a sloth, reminding herself of Twilight during Winter Wrap Up. **

** Trembling, she said, "S-sn-snake."**

** Soarin burst out laughing, rolling on the forest floor.**

** "Soarin, get your flank up here, there's a snake!" Then Rainbow realized the snake had been put up to this. She'd been pranked.**

** "Holy Hestia, Soarin! You scared me!"**

** Soarin wiped a tear from his eye. "Not afraid of anything, huh?"**

** "I've kicked a full-grown dragon in the snout. Don't even think about calling me a coward." Dash said, still in the tree." **

** "You should have seen your face! And then you screamed like a little school-filly. I didn't know your voice even _went_ that high."**

** "Well, I AM still a girl." She said in her "well, it IS a mountain" voice. **

** "What a laugh. Come on, Dashie. Get down from there. The snake's gone."**

** Rainbow reluctantly jumped down from her branch, but as they walked on, Rainbow was obviously shaken up. She gasped at every suspicious looking stick and whipped her head around at every noise.**

** "Why don't you climb up on my back? The snakes can't get you up there." Soarin suggested. **

** Rainbow Dash looked as if she was going to start yelling that she was NOT afraid but instead she accepted the offer. She climbed onto his back and spurred his side with her hoof. "Yah! Giddyup!" **

** Soarin continued walking at normal pace. "Yeah, not going to happen."  
"Phooey." She slumped forward onto Soarin's neck, resting her head on top of his, smelling his mane. "So, do you want to tell me where we're going now?"**

** "Hmm... No."**

** "Pwease?"**

** "Patience. We'll get there in, like, a minute and I'll dramatically pull back a branch, revealing a beautiful sanctuary beyond your dreams."**

** "You're so corny. Just tell me! I hate not knowing what's going on!"**

** "Patience." **

** "Patience." She repeated. "That's a dirty word."**

** Soarin turned a corner and came to a clearing. Rainbow's eyes got wide. They were standing- well, Soarin was standing, Rainbow was sitting on Soarin- on a large rock that hung over the bank of a large pond. On the other side of the pond stood a canyon wall, with streams of water trickling down from it's cracks down into the pond. **

** Over to the right was a small river running into a cave. This place was paradise. **

** "Wow." Rainbow sat on her haunches, gaping at the miraculous view. "When you said 'brilliant sanctuary beyond your dreams' I didn't think you meant literally." **

** Soarin sat down next to her on the rock. He wrapped a wing and a foreleg around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. **

** There it was. Another perfect moment on the best night ever. Rainbow Dash was sitting at a romantic pond with her boyfriend. But, as usual, the moment was spoiled. Typically enough, it was due to the clumsy side of the rainbow pony. Here's how.**

** The couple's eyes met and they leaned in for a kiss. But Dashie's hoof slipped off the side of the rock, causing her whole body to topple over the edge.**

** "Oh v****élo!" **

** Rainbow tried to open her wings on the way down, but they got caught in her dress. It wasn't a high fall, but it was an embarrassing one. Luckily she landed on the bank and not in the water. She cursed to herself. Why did she have to be such a klutz? She was just too chaotic. She'd never been a very romantic pony, but did she seriously have to annihilate every opportunity? **_**You dodo. **_

** Soarin poked his head over the side of the rock to see the spectrum pony sprawled out on the ground. "Are you alright?" He asked, straining to keep a strait face. He jumped off the edge to help Dashie to her hooves. **

** "I'm alright." Soarin picked a twig out of Dashie's hair.**

** They soon began their walk back to the castle, Soarin was terrified when he realized it was Rainbow's turn to attack in the prank war. He tried to anticipate what she was going to do, but trying to anticipate Rainbow would just drive anypony crazy. **

** Rainbow could tell Soarin was scared out of his wits trying to figure out what her next prank was. Actually, she didn't have anything planned. One of her favorite pranks was not pranking at all and watching somepony go bonkers trying to avoid getting pranked. She knew it was kind of mean, but very entertaining. **

** "Okay, I'm going to drive myself to a mental hospital. Can you call off the prank just until the Gala's over? Then you have at it, but I want to be able to ****enjoy the evening." Soarin told the cyan pony next to him.**

** "Fine, you scaredy pony. Only for you." **

** Once the couple made it back to the Gala, they noticed it was almost over. A few ponies still milled around but it was mostly deserted.  
They found Applejack taking down flags and collapsing her applecart. There was nothing in it but two apples and an apple fritter. **

** "Hey, Applejack." The two pegasi said at the same time.**

** "Howdy, you two. The rest of us are going over to the donut shop, y'all coming?"**

** After a quick look at Soarin, who shrugged, Rainbow said, "Nah. I think we're going to head home."**

** "Alrighity, then. Ah'll see you soon."**

** They said their goodbyes and the two pegasi got on their chariot and headed towards Cloudsdale.**

** The chariot sailed to Rainbow's house and Soarin gave her a goodnight kiss. **

** "Can I see you tomorrow?"**

** "Sugar Cube Corner?"**

** "Always."**

** Rainbow walked up her sidewalk, her stomach bubbly; remembering everything that happened that night. She turned and waved as the chariot glided off. Then she cracked a grin. Even though Soarin didn't know it; she'd be seeing him sooner than he thought.**

** Rainbow stood in front of the mirror for the second time this evening, pleased with what she was looking at, for the second time this evening. She was dressed in her black jumpsuit, the one she wore when she broke into the hospital. She loved going all out when she did a prank, and that's exactly what she did. She sprayed temporary black spray paint on her tail to conceal the rainbow. She also put in yellow contacts that glowed in the dark. She had on saddlebags filled with silly string. She was ready. She glanced over at the clock. Quarter to one. Now or never.**

** She flew over to Soarin's cloud house and managed to wedge herself through an ajar window. She started with the living room. On the ground she wrote in sloppy cursive with the silly string **_**You've just been pranked by the the champ prankster. **_** Then she filled the kitchen sink with silly string.**

** She saved about half of the cans for Soarin's bedroom. She planned to ****utterly cover the room with the stuff. **_**Oh, this is going to be good.**_** She flew up the stairs, careful to make as little noise possible. Rainbow slowly opened his bedroom door, it swinging open without a sound. Soarin's bed was across the room from the door, the full moon in the window giving just enough light to trace out Soarin's silhouette, fast asleep.**

** Soarin was curled into a tight ball on his bed, taking up as little room as possible. Not like Rainbow. When she slept, she sprawled herself out, taking up as much room as she could. **

** His breathing was deep and even. Dash had the sudden and almost irresistible desire to climb in and snuggle next to Soarin, to fall asleep listening to the sound of his breathing and the beating of his heart. But she had to remember why she was there.**

** It was then Rainbow Dash realized she was staring. She shook her head, snapping out of her fantasies. She was still leaning against the doorway. He used her legs to stand instead of the door frame and stepped into the room. **

** Rainbow, being a pegasus, was light on her hooves, therefore she made no sound as she stepped on the cold floor. She was going to pull this off. **

** Her plans all went up in flames on her third step. Her hoof caught on something, what she would soon find was Soarin's Wonderbolt's costume, laying in a heap on the floor, she lost her balance, cursing, "Kolo!" as her body made a loud THUMP on the ground. Soarin's emerald eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright. **

** Rainbow Dash was suddenly terrified. Soarin's eyes, usually bubbly and goofy, were cold with fury. He leaped out of bed and grabbed for a baseball bat propped against the wall. **

** The realization hit her like a train. He didn't recognize her. He thought she was a burglar. He swung the bat, aiming for his girlfriend's head.**

** "Wait, it's me, Soar-" It was too late. Soarin brought the baseball bat down on top of Rainbow Dash's head. **

** The pony dressed in black slumped to the ground, fighting to stay conscious. Soarin could see green and blue streaks in the pony's mane peeking out from the pony's hood. Uh-oh. Rainbow Dash had green and blue in her mane. Soarin tried to reason with himself. _There's a ton of ponies with multi-colored manes. Plus you haven't even seen the whole mane, it's probably entirely blue and green. Plus, Dashie doesn't have a black tail or yellow eyes. _**

** Soarin checked in the pony's saddlebags to see if she'd stolen anything and found half a dozen cans of silly string. Everything was pointing to Rainbow Dash being the pony he'd just hit in the head. He almost couldn't bring himself to pull the hood off the pony's head. What if it was Rainbow? Then again, if it wasn't, then he needed to call the cops. He tugged the hood off with his teeth, revealing four more colors.**

** Styx.**

** He refused to believe he'd just injured his girlfriend. Still, Rainbow didn't have a black tail and yellow eyes. There was one way to find out the truth. She grabbed the zipper on the back of the jumpsuit with his teeth and unzipped it, letting it fall to Rainbow's hooves, revealing her signature cutie mark. Terrified and dazed eyes stared up at him, making him feel three times more guilty. **

** "Dammit, Rainbow!" He pulled his cyan friend into his back and laid her on his bed. After ten minutes of ice packs and pain killer, Rainbow still felt awful, but didn't feel like she was going to pass out. **

** Soarin sat on the bed next to her, stroking her mane. He kept going from "I'm so so sorry, Dashie, it must hurt real bad. It's all my fault." to "What the hail were you thinking, Rainbow? Breaking into my place, making yourself look like a burglar, just so you could silly string my house!" **

** A while later, Soarin got up and turned off the lamp, revealing dozens of glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the walls and ceiling. "I'm going to bed, g'night." He walked to the door, but Rainbow's voice stopped him. "Soar..."**

** He turned back to the mare lying in his bed. **

** Rainbow wanted to ask him something, but her head pounded and throbbed. All she could manage was pat the side of the bed with her hoof. Soarin got the hint. He walked back into his room and crawled into bed with her. He wrapped a fore hoof around her, holding her close.**

** "Soarin?" Dashie asked, her voice barely over a whisper.**

** "Hmm?"**

** "Do you remember what you asked me at the beginning of tonight?"**

** "Why you smelled like cinnamon?" Soarin guessed.**

** Rainbow laughed but then winced. "No, you asked me if I had felt love before."**

** "Oh, that."**

** "Well, have _you_?"**

** Soarin kissed the top of his girlfriend's head. "Yes."**

** And the couple laid there, just like that, with Soarin spooning her and cradling her head in his fore leg. And that was the most perfect moment on the best night ever. With no interruptions, no pegasus ADHD, no falling off rocks, no concern about if Rainbow was Soarin's girlfriend or not, just perfection. **

** Soarin listened to Rainbow's breathing for a long time, and when he was sure she asleep, he whispered "I love you, Rainbow Dash." to himself more than anything else to make it official. Not to himself as a confession, but as a epiphany and to make it real and out there. **

** "I love you too, Soarin." Soarin was surprised to hear Rainbow was still awake, but so happy to hear those words to come out of the mouth of the pony he loved. **

** THE END**

**By: CheddarandPretzelCombos.**

**Glossary of Random exclamations  
**

**(In order of appearance)  
**

**Holy chaise! Chaise is the French word for chair, pronounced shez. Gives satisfaction of saying S and H together without saying a bad word.  
**

**Styx. The river in the Underworld. (Percy Jackson forever!)  
**

**Holy Hestia! Hestia id the Ancient Greek goddess of hearth and flames.  
**

**Athena's Chariot. Athena is another ancient goddess. She's the goddess of wisdom. She invented the chariot.  
**

**Oh ****v****élo! ********v****élo** is the French word for bicycle, pronounced vay-low.  


******Kolo! What Yahoo claims is Ancient Greek for the F-word.  
**

******Okay, I THINK that's all of them. If you need to know a random word, just put it in your review. THX!  
**


	2. AWARDS!

**Hey all you fabulous bronies!**

This fan fiction (The Best Night Ever With A Baseball Bat) has been nominated for the Pinkie Pie Society's Hearts and Hooves Day award! If you would take the time to vote for my story here: u/4389937/Potato-Jam-7 I would love you forever.

Thanks!

~Combos

(And If that link doesn't work, which I don't think it will, go up to that pretty little [search] bar and type in PotatoJam7 and you'll find her under the authors list. On her page, you can take her poll and vote for me!)


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